I have to write this, otherwise I'll forget I had this thought about ASJ Web
I've been working on macros for a while now. They work, but I'm not confident. Not that I'm not confident in my abilities. I'm not confident I understand macros. I get that they're backquote, comma, and comma-at. The parsing is all in, the right things are getting the right calls, and things are getting constructed in the right places and ways. I know that I'm not seeing something right.
I just don't know what it is I'm not seeing. So, I'm reading OnLisp about how and what and why macros are, so I can see what it is I'm blind to. This is kind of my normal. The language holds my hand until something happens and I can't see the hands anymore. Then it kind of becomes a blind game of sounding out where I am and where it is, so I can slowly orient myself to go the right way and feel my way through what I need to build. It's weird because I can see and hear and speak, but there's a lot broken on the inside of my mind (from a lot of blunt force trauma) that prevents me from seeing, hearing, and speaking. It gets better. It just gets better slowly. Very slowly.
The point is...not about macros.
I'm going to go back to writing demos for HTML once macros are in place. I'm writing macros, a completely clean and totally 100% stable macro implementation - for HTML. I could probably have run for a while with what was in place, but it wasn't right, would have slowed me down, and ultimately probably caused me to have to rework the HTML generator. I never expect anything to take long, because when I started Awesome Sauce Java, I was staying at my ex-wife's parents house with the dining room table and chair. I could leave notes organized, get up and work, and it made a huge difference. Everything was really and truly amazingly fast. It was the most fun I'd ever had programming, because it was all just really fun, fast, and stable to build.
Today, my life's a mess. The injury, lack of income, no assistance, is all more than I can handle. My ex-wife made such a mess of my SSD filing, I can't imagine that will ever get straightened out, so I gave up on it and trying to figure out all the public assistance stuff. People don't believe anything's wrong and I don't have, nor have I found, any advocates to assist.
So I've decided to endure while trying to figure out how to find work again. But I rarely apply for work because my resume looks like crap and my work experience is me writing code to recover from an assault. I have no references, friends who'll vouch for me, or family who understands what I'm writing. If I could figure out a coffee shop job, I'd be all in. I can't figure anything out but coding and the Bible. Maybe guitar, but no strings & the nut fell off and got lost, so no guitar.
The world feels closed to me.
I really hope the next crowd funding campaign works. If I ever get it together. Some days I feel like I get nothing done and should be living in a cave in a forest for my lack of contribution to society. I thought writing about the pyramids might have been cool, but apparently I was late writing about them? I don't know.
I'm hoping to get macros figured out. I'm constructing the core of comma, and it looks like it'll work fine. I'm just arguing over the implementation with myself to make sure it's stable and all the doubts are 100% wrung out and it's solid. I really need code to be stable for all the apps I'm building. One of the reasons I've stuck with Awesome Sauce Java is that it really has been an interesting experience to fix bugs that stay fixed and go away. Because of the mathematical nature of the language, it's just that way, I guess. I don't know math, but I fake it well. Actually, I love math and would go off and study it forever if I could figure out Calculus. I can program calculus functions, but can't read it.
Hopefully the macros will get built in tonight or tomorrow. Because it feels nice to write web-based apps using a language as dynamic as Lisp but includes all of Java, without a lot of the overhead of classes and OOP, unless you want it, then it's there for you like cookies and milk before bed. Or some other, more appropriate allusion.
Plus, all that web app code in one format that includes everything like databases and business logic and can maybe be made to manage the client side as well as the server side? And it's functional and available as fast as you lock the code in? I have to believe somebody might like it.
But I had to write about HTML or I was going to go to my big, giant list from this morning and decide to spend my time working on something else. There's plenty to do, and I'm excited about all of it, especially the package system, because it's a potentially nice change to how packages work and in a big way. It's a new perspective on old technology applied in a different way, probably because I've spent so much time in all the parts I see how they might be coming together to play really nice.
So while I'd like to work on packages, I'll save them for when they prevent the web side of Awesome Sauce Java from making progress and then dive into them like I've kind of tried to almost dive into macros. I feel like I'm operating at 10% efficiency and freaking out about where I'm going to sleep and how I'm going to eat so much, I get nothing done. Worse, the place I live is mentally exhausting because it seems they don't like me or simply want to destroy me. I've never felt that way about anybody for any reason. These guys have really earned it. There's something awful about the place and why I'm there, but I guess it'll be over soon. Hopefully, it's over in a positive way. It really feels sinister. Like it's intended for it to end badly for me.
We'll see. The point of this note is to remember to get moving on HTML and web stuff for Awesome Sauce Java. Not to make noise about anything else.
Have a great day.
Michael
I just don't know what it is I'm not seeing. So, I'm reading OnLisp about how and what and why macros are, so I can see what it is I'm blind to. This is kind of my normal. The language holds my hand until something happens and I can't see the hands anymore. Then it kind of becomes a blind game of sounding out where I am and where it is, so I can slowly orient myself to go the right way and feel my way through what I need to build. It's weird because I can see and hear and speak, but there's a lot broken on the inside of my mind (from a lot of blunt force trauma) that prevents me from seeing, hearing, and speaking. It gets better. It just gets better slowly. Very slowly.
The point is...not about macros.
I'm going to go back to writing demos for HTML once macros are in place. I'm writing macros, a completely clean and totally 100% stable macro implementation - for HTML. I could probably have run for a while with what was in place, but it wasn't right, would have slowed me down, and ultimately probably caused me to have to rework the HTML generator. I never expect anything to take long, because when I started Awesome Sauce Java, I was staying at my ex-wife's parents house with the dining room table and chair. I could leave notes organized, get up and work, and it made a huge difference. Everything was really and truly amazingly fast. It was the most fun I'd ever had programming, because it was all just really fun, fast, and stable to build.
Today, my life's a mess. The injury, lack of income, no assistance, is all more than I can handle. My ex-wife made such a mess of my SSD filing, I can't imagine that will ever get straightened out, so I gave up on it and trying to figure out all the public assistance stuff. People don't believe anything's wrong and I don't have, nor have I found, any advocates to assist.
So I've decided to endure while trying to figure out how to find work again. But I rarely apply for work because my resume looks like crap and my work experience is me writing code to recover from an assault. I have no references, friends who'll vouch for me, or family who understands what I'm writing. If I could figure out a coffee shop job, I'd be all in. I can't figure anything out but coding and the Bible. Maybe guitar, but no strings & the nut fell off and got lost, so no guitar.
The world feels closed to me.
I really hope the next crowd funding campaign works. If I ever get it together. Some days I feel like I get nothing done and should be living in a cave in a forest for my lack of contribution to society. I thought writing about the pyramids might have been cool, but apparently I was late writing about them? I don't know.
I'm hoping to get macros figured out. I'm constructing the core of comma, and it looks like it'll work fine. I'm just arguing over the implementation with myself to make sure it's stable and all the doubts are 100% wrung out and it's solid. I really need code to be stable for all the apps I'm building. One of the reasons I've stuck with Awesome Sauce Java is that it really has been an interesting experience to fix bugs that stay fixed and go away. Because of the mathematical nature of the language, it's just that way, I guess. I don't know math, but I fake it well. Actually, I love math and would go off and study it forever if I could figure out Calculus. I can program calculus functions, but can't read it.
Hopefully the macros will get built in tonight or tomorrow. Because it feels nice to write web-based apps using a language as dynamic as Lisp but includes all of Java, without a lot of the overhead of classes and OOP, unless you want it, then it's there for you like cookies and milk before bed. Or some other, more appropriate allusion.
Plus, all that web app code in one format that includes everything like databases and business logic and can maybe be made to manage the client side as well as the server side? And it's functional and available as fast as you lock the code in? I have to believe somebody might like it.
But I had to write about HTML or I was going to go to my big, giant list from this morning and decide to spend my time working on something else. There's plenty to do, and I'm excited about all of it, especially the package system, because it's a potentially nice change to how packages work and in a big way. It's a new perspective on old technology applied in a different way, probably because I've spent so much time in all the parts I see how they might be coming together to play really nice.
So while I'd like to work on packages, I'll save them for when they prevent the web side of Awesome Sauce Java from making progress and then dive into them like I've kind of tried to almost dive into macros. I feel like I'm operating at 10% efficiency and freaking out about where I'm going to sleep and how I'm going to eat so much, I get nothing done. Worse, the place I live is mentally exhausting because it seems they don't like me or simply want to destroy me. I've never felt that way about anybody for any reason. These guys have really earned it. There's something awful about the place and why I'm there, but I guess it'll be over soon. Hopefully, it's over in a positive way. It really feels sinister. Like it's intended for it to end badly for me.
We'll see. The point of this note is to remember to get moving on HTML and web stuff for Awesome Sauce Java. Not to make noise about anything else.
Have a great day.
Michael
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